People forget their underwear in the parking lot.

I'm certainly not picking THIS up.

 

People lead busy lives. Going from one stop to the next with little time in between. And sometimes what's appropriate attire for one place just won't work for the next and you're forced to alter what you're wearing while on the road. I get that. But how do you leave your underwear in the parking lot?

A public restroom looks as if it's been flooded.

No one knows how to operate a mop?

After 11 days on the road I'm finally headed home. I stop for lunch and a "comfort" break. The restroom looks like it could have been lifted from the Titanic moments after impact with the iceberg. Now I'm not so hungry.

The only available arm cover up is a Tampa Bay Rays sleeve.

It did the job, but the Rays? Crikey.

On the road. Wearing a short sleeve shirt. A certain guest is about to show up, one I didn't expect on this day. If I had expected this particular guest I would have worn a long sleeved shirt. Thankfully someone has a solution, of sorts. A souvenir of a recent trip to a Rays' game. Problem is, I'm a Yankees fan. Compounding the problem, the Rays spanked the Yanks the night before, 7 - 0. But it beats facing this guest bare armed.

The clock-radio display is so bright I have to build a pillow fort to get to sleep.

I could perform open-heart surgery with the light from this clock-radio.

I just want to get a little sleep. I'm away from home, in a strange bed. My retinas are being fried from the bright blue display of the clock-radio. They could have saved a lot of money when they finally put those lights in at Wrigley Field. Three of these things would have been enough to illuminate the entire field.

Apple releases a new operating system that takes more space than I have available on my iPhone.

2.9 GB? My phone only has 8 total GB.

So I've been looking forward to Apple's new operating system, ios 7, and downloading it to my iPhone 4. I know, "an iPhone 4?" you're asking, "how 2010." But it was free when I upgraded, so I opted for the 4 instead of the 4S or the 5 because at heart I'm a cheap son of a gun. So now I have to either delete a boat load of stuff from my phone or continue operating under last decade's tech specs.

The outside key card reader won't read my key card

I'm staying in a hotel. I park closest to the door near my room. For my security that door is locked and can only be opened with my room key card. Now I don't if it's because this key card reader is outside, subject to the elements and its protective plastic cover has been broken off, allowing rain and dust to get inside the slot, but it never reads my key card on the first swipe. Or the fourth or the ninth. Sometimes the little light on it will flash red, sometimes it doesn't come on at all. I can swipe the key card fast, slow, with pressure pushing towards the reader or away from it. Doesn't seem to matter. It always takes at least 10 swipes to get that little light to flash green, signaling the door has unlocked and I can make my way to my room.

The TV channel guide at the hotel lies.

Note channel 24 on the guide, it says FX. Now see the logo on the screen, FXM, entirely different network.

On the road, staying in a hotel. Looking forward to a new episode of one of my favorite shows, which happens to be on FX. I check the hotel TV channel guide, oh yeah, they have FX, on channel 24. Last time I was in this hotel FX was not on their lineup, so I'm psyched that they've added it. But wait, what's this? I turn on channel 24 and it's FXM (the FX movie network), an entirely different network that does NOT air my show!

Wendy's shift managers have a meeting in the dining room.

I'm on the road and stop for lunch at a Wendy's. I managed to avoid the lunch rush, but got there just in time to catch a shift managers staff meeting. Fascinating. They spent over 30 minutes discussing shredded cheese. Shredded cheese!

Windows wants to install 74 updates.

74 updates?! Who has this kind of time?

It's a laptop that belongs to the radio station. I just turned it on to see if it had Microsoft Word on it. But before I could do that I had to reset the date. I guess the battery had gone totally dead since no one has used this laptop in months, maybe longer. So it turns out this puppy doesn't have Word. No problem, there's another laptop around here somewhere. So I hit "turn off your computer" and expect to pack it back up. But no. 74 updates have to download first. 74 updates? Come on Bill Gates, can't you get one of these Windows operating systems right on the first try?

People leave unused time on the microwave!

Three minutes and forty-two seconds! Really?! I have nothing that requires that much time in the microwave!

I'm ready to put my lunch in the microwave. I'm a little pressed for time. Wait. What's this? The last person to use the microwave took their food out before the timer went off, and they didn't bother to reset the timer. Now I have to either cook my food for the length of time left on the timer or push the "Stop/Clear" button myself.